TL:DR I nearly died in the ICU last friday, and to be frank really should’ve with what I was dealing with.

but i’m making a great recovery! Gonna be like. On and off for quite a while tbh.I’m just copy/pasting what I sent in a group chat just now so if it’s weirdly formated thats why.

I need to put like, death/hospital/sickness tws galore here because I’m gonna go in depth in the situation but I hope there isn’t anymore i’m not thinking about rnLast friday my mom rushed me to the hospital and I was put into the ICU for about 5 days. I had/was in(?) Diabetic Ketoacidosis and the doctors said like. maybe 20 minutes/an hour later and I would’ve probably died. 

To be honest though I felt like I was already there. Apparently mom took a video because my dad and sister were asking about me and my sister just straight up said I looked like i was fighting for my life. (Haven’t watched it yet cuz I like. don’t wanna get caught on accident by my little sister who doesn’t know the severity of the situation) To try and summarize real quick, Diabetic Ketoacidosis happens because the body isn’t producing enough insulin.  Ketones build up in your body, which are basically build up/clumps of acid.  

Because of all the ketones building up so fast it like. changed my blood ph and. yeah. ended up with me in the hospital. The only way the body knows to get rid of it is through like. exhaling so I just. couldn’t breathe. I was breathing so rapidly. 

 I couldn’t keep track of the amount of times my nurses basically said “WOW U SHOULD BE DEAD” like, not literally, they weren’t literally saying that jkdsl;afjkdf, but saying stuff like “God gave you a second chance” and that I should just do whatever the hell i want to now and not wait. I don’t remember quite everything but i remember a lot, and i could just. never explain how it felt to be like. suffocating in my own body. My oxygen saturation was perfect and I had “no reason” to be breathing like that. IT felt like someone put a fucking boulder on my chestI was throwing up like every 10 minutes.

I couldn’t keep fluids down, i’m still struggling with appetite.I have so many bruises from IV’s /blood tests every day and a whole boatload of trauma to process as well as just being. so exahusted all the time bUT I FUCKING MADE IT. I LIVED BITCH. I"M DOING SO MUCH BETTER. just needing like. forever to recover.